Saturday, 17 January 2015

Firsts

We drove up and down the main street of a quaint rural village - in the end, we had to stop at the little post office for directions...despite this, we still arrived early.
As we walked in the door, there was a strange feeling of trepidation mixed with excitement, nervousness and suspense. We walked past the kitchen, where Mini was just finishing a late lunch, but I daren't look too soon, not wanting to see him until I could take it all in properly.

We waited in the sitting room, and soon after, Mini's social worker unceremoniously plonked him on my lap - my first cuddle with him. That day, we had lots of firsts with Mini - the first book read together, the first play together and that week, even more - the first nappy change, the first bath, the first bottle, first trip to the park, and many, many more. They were our firsts though, not his.

Experiencing his firsts were important to me - we missed so many of Mini's in that first year of his life. I revelled in the ones that we experienced with him...lucky enough to have his first steps, first proper word, first wee in the toilet. And then later - first day at nursery, then school and so on. We took photos and mentally logged so many firsts, that in fact, we probably created unnecessary ones...so keen to establish ourselves as the keepers of the important moments.


First baby tooth to go...
As time as passed, we've experienced so many firsts that their importance has faded a little. Of course we still celebrate them with him, in fact recently he learnt to tie his shoelaces and there were congratulations a-plenty. But, there's not the desperate need to record them in the same way as we used to. I think that's down to me - I don't need those experiences to feel like his mum anymore; I just am.
So it seems that those first hundred firsts were the ones that helped me feel like Mini's mum. It gave me a connection to him, and strengthened my own feelings. Now, I can just enjoy them with him (although the recent first nose bleed was not necessarily cause to celebrate!) and look forward, like any other parent, to creating more opportunities for Mini to experience new things, fun times and memory-making events.

I'm linking up to #WASO on The Adoption Social, the theme this week is The First Hundred.

2 comments:

  1. Really lovely to celebrate with the positives.

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  2. Those first moments are so important to us for all the reasons you say - so glad you have great memories of so many important ones xx

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