Thursday, 21 November 2013

An update - school, therapy and counselling

I haven't written much recently. I'll be honest, we've just been really busy as a family and nothing much exciting has happened to tell you about!

We're still waiting to move Mini's school. We held on a bit because we didn't want to move schools without the support of our social worker - that was important to us. Our social worker wanted to speak to school before he'd support us. Well, you can guess what happened - school agreed to all sorts with the social worker, a week later it had all been forgotten. Our social worker even chased up, I mean, was curious with school about how things were going and was told 'we MIGHT do those things we agreed to do, but ONLY IF we have time'. So it's all still as stressful and we've now resorted to not sending Mini in on the days where we can see he's struggling.

I'm not entirely comfortable with not sending him to school. I don't want him to be difficult at home just to get a day off, and as manipulation and control is important to him I can see it happening but so far he hasn't tried to do that yet. And I don't really want to antagonise the Headteacher who is working very hard on raising attendance by taking him out of school - BUT...

It feels like the best thing for Mini. If he's needing that time and space with me then so be it. If school aren't going to support him then I feel I have little choice but to keep him close when he needs that.

So after all of that, our application is now in with the local council - has been for a few weeks and we're just waiting now. I've only applied for one other school and I hope they can find space for him.

We've also had a Theraplay review and our therapist seems happy with how far we've come since we last saw him. We spoke to him about moving schools and he was also supportive of the plan. We've even started to mention it to Mini. One of the biggest things that Theraplay helped us with was reinforcing our safe, secure relationship with Mini. The therapist worked hard in sessions to help Mini see that we were looking out for him and taking care of him. So he suggested telling Mini about the new school and reinforcing that it's our job to make sure he's looked after and we don't feel like school is doing that so we're fighting for a school that can. It's not gone down brilliantly so far, but we're taking a softly softly approach...

We're having Attachment Focused Counselling too at the moment - for now just the NC and I, but bringing Mini in later hopefully. It's brought up lots of things which I'll tell you about another time, but suffice to say I think I need some counselling separately and our attachment counsellor agrees and can facilitate it.

So that's us. Sorry for not writing more - and with Christmas approaching I can't guarantee I'll write loads and loads, but if you want to read more about adoption and blogging, then you'll find me over on www.theadoptionsocial.com where I spend much more time...and do drop either myself or Sarah a line at theadoptionsocial@gmail.com if you'd like to contribute to either The Adoption Social or a guest post on The Boy's Behaviour.

6 comments:

  1. Great to hear that Theraplay has been productive. The Attachment Focused Counselling sounds interesting - is this via social services? X

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    1. Social Services are paying for it. It's provided by Barnardo's though who have a team of freelance independent counsellors. As far as I know it's restricted to East Anglia and the South East though... x

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  2. Really lovely to read your update. I hope you get some resolution over school soon. It's a horrible situation of limbo to be in x

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    1. It is, but the good news is that we're getting somewhere finally... x

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  3. I don't know much about Theraplay, although I see that several adoptive families are making use of it. Is it something that could feature on The Adoption Social do you think? I'd like to hear more about it :)

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