Wednesday, 2 October 2013

Facing fears

This week I have had to face one of my fears.
 
Hairdressers.
 
After doing some serious diy colour work on my hair, it finally went a little bit wrong when it came to stripping it all out and going back to natural.
So here I am in a swirly chair writing whilst waiting for orange strain to neutralise my green ash coloured hair.
My fear stems from a bad experience about 13 years ago with hair extensions...and since then I've avoided the swirly chairs, big mirrors, bright lighting and cheery scissor wielding people!
 
As I've gotten older, I've become more fearful and I wonder if that would have happened anyway, or whether having children has something to do with it? I have some (possibly irrational) fears and as I sit here and write I realise that infact, I have quite a lot of things that I'm fearful and scared of - needles, cats, spiders, scary movies, hairdressers, wasps and water come to mind.
 
When you become a parent you have to hide some of your fears. I can't tell you how horrible I've found taking my children for their vaccinations, but it's something that has to be done. And the number of times I've tried to calm Mini who panics with wasps, when in fact inside I want to scream and run away too!
 
However I do think that having fears has helped me identify with some of my children's fears. I can empathise with them. I can help them through difficult moments. And it's working because with our growing and improving attachments, Mini is gradually starting to believe in us, and do what we say when he's struck down scared. That belief in what we're saying is proof that things are getting better.
 
What do you think? Have you become more fearful as you've gotten older? And even worse since having your children? Or am I just totally irrational?

 

13 comments:

  1. One of my very first memories is a huge python striking at me though the glass at the zoo. Since then I have been deathly afraid of snakes. When my oldest was 2 he wanted to go touch a huge boa they had out on display at Disney. When I said there was no way, his little heart was broken and I could see it in his face. That was the minute I refused to let my fears hold them back. In our family we face our fears together. Although, yes, now as an adult I have more fears. I often look back and think, what the heck was I thinking? LOL

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    1. I like the idea of facing fears together, definitely helps strengthen bonds too. x

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  2. I don't like hairdressers either....I have no reason to but I've been once in about 20 years.....lol My fella took my girls last year to get their hair cut and they came home a mess!! I straightened it up after complaining and refusing to let them near my girls hair again!

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    1. Several of us have admitted to hairdresser fears! I'm pleased I'm not the only one x

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  3. I could have written this. I overcame my fear of hair dressers a while back when my friend (hairdresser) who used to cut (perm back in the 90's) my hair, moved away. I had to find a new hair dresser. I still struggle, I'm not very trusting of hair dressers and I'm not very brave when it comes to my hair, I attend for trims but colours are applied by Mr Familyof5 at home :)
    I also have a phobia of needles, i've never been able to work through this, I can even look at a picture of someone having a jab with feeling sick and dizzy, needless to say Mr Familyof5 has had to deal with the girls vaccinations, i'd never forgive myself if they sensed my fear and became fearful themselves.
    Spiders, another for me, I want to run, but instead I freeze, in a panic unable to move. I've had to over come this somewhat on occasion when Mr Familyof5 has been out but when I say over come, I mean, place a glass/bowl over the offending spider and leave till he gets home lol
    I also have a fear of fire, I can stand bonfire night with its sparklers and fireworks, all I see is danger. We had a wood burning stove installed last year, scares the crap outta me!
    Wind, that's my final fear, gale force winds, hurricanes, tornado's or even just strong winds, you can't see if yet it can destroy so much!

    So no, your not irrational, or maybe you are and if you are, then so am I :)

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    1. I know how you are with needles...it's a horrible thing. I can't watch my own jabs/blood tests or the children's and had to be admitted to hospital when pregnant with Dollop because I couldn't test my own blood...that's just a tiny needle to stab my finger but I can't bring myself to do it.
      And spiders...yes I've 'overcome' that one too...the NC often comes home to find pint glasses upturned in bizarre places with a leggy creature underneath!

      We'll be irrational together hey?!

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  4. Oddly I find I have got much less fearful as I have got older, but instead I have got more set in my ways. So I don't go to the hairdressers much, I visited the dentist last year for the first time in over 20 years (not fear, just laziness and happily healthy teeth!) - my teeth were fine by the way - and I don't iron. I've had the same iron since I went to uni over 20 years ago and it just gets the occasional run out for cotton dresses and the boy's shirts.

    When I was younger I was absolutely terrified of dogs, and I mean that whimpering out-of-control terrified where you know you're looking like a crazy person but you just can't stop yourself. I've worked hard to overcome that and I'm glad to be able to walk past a dog in the park now without, hopefully, transmitting my hidden nervousness to my son.

    So I'm ok with fears, but I'm finding that the bad lifestyle habits I've picked up in years and years of living alone will have to be dealt with! For instance, is it really ok to go to sleep every night with the accompaniment of the TV in my bedroom when really I know that I don't want OB to have TV in his bedroom? Is it ok to give OB fruit and veg but never really eat those things myself? When your life suddenly becomes an example to somebody else 24/7 it definitely makes you examine what kind of example you're being!

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  5. The comment about the wasps made me laugh. Over the summer I have had to remain calm so many times when the stupid insects fly around our food. I have even had to be quite blunt with the girls at times and tell them to calm down when all i have wanted to do is flap around and scream with them!!

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  6. For me it's the dentist, I hate, hate going but have to put a brave face on for the boys. And I can agree with the wasps thing as well. I too have been to the hairdressers this week, but I love going. It is a bit of me time and I enjoy chatting with my hairdresser and reading magazines and drinking tea whilst my colour is done. Hope you felt better about it all when you left, your hair looked fab. xx

    Thanks for linking up with The Weekly Adoption Shout Out

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  7. I had no idea the hairdresser was a common fear! I have curly hair and it's taken me a loooong time to find a hairdresser I like (we've 'been together' for 2 years now, I hope he never leaves me!) but I can't say I've ever been fearful...more just annoyed!
    As a kid I was very afraid of the dark and every little noise and creak at night. I remember having to back out of rooms so the dark wasn't behind me. Im' not sure when I got over it.
    Now I don't fear much, not the little things anyway (ok spiders get to me if they are in my house). But it's the bigger things as I've gotten older - death, money, doing the right things for my kids, doing enough for my kids, is every one happy and healthy etc. Maybe these aren't so much fears as they are worries...

    And yes, I agree with Sarah - your hair looked fabulous!

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    1. Oh I hear you on the death thing Lindsay. Not a fear of death but a fear of leaving my children too early xx

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  8. I've found that having small people about has made me pretend that I am not afraid of wasps - although I hate the things! What purpose do they have anyway other than to annoy people? I'm not a fan of the dentist I must admit. Sensitive teeth these days make this worse. Other than that I'm fairly relaxed. Incidentally I LOVE the hairdressers but only the one I've been to for, like, forever. Terrified of going anywhere new. In fact I'd rather change GPs!

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  9. Oh and don't even get me started on cockroaches!

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