When Mini first came home, I didn't dwell on the 'firsts' I'd missed. We just got on with it and started creating our own treasured moments. Many of them are the same as birth parents:
The day he came home.
His first words. (Bus, in case you were interested!)
The first time we were called Mummy and Daddy.
His first unaided steps.
The day he said his name properly, instead of his babyish version of it.
His first day at nursery.
His first day at school.
The time he met his new sister and looked proudly into her eyes.
His first haircut.
His first trip out in the car.
The time Mini spread yoghurt *everywhere*.
But because we adopted him, there are some extra treasured moments that birth parents don't get:
The day it all became official and we were 100% responsible for this little person.
The day we went to court to celebrate.
The fantastic moment when someone said he looked like his daddy. (Because inside, we knew that wasn't quite possible, and it meant so much).
The first meaningful 'I love you' when we knew he'd been struggling to say it.
The day I confused the nurse who asked if his birth had been complicated, by telling her I wasn't there. (Flippant I know, but I couldn't resist).
I know we were lucky enough to have Mini placed with us when he was so young, and perhaps I'd feel differently if he'd been older and we'd missed even more of these firsts. But until I had Dollop and experienced the firsts and the moments that I'd not had with Mini, I really didn't miss them:
The excitement of seeing that first tooth poke through (then the reality of the sleepless nights after).
The first times she rolled over, sat up, and crawled.
Her first birthday and first Christmas.
Her first smile.
In some ways, I still don't feel I've missed them with Mini. I know it's easy for me to say, when I've had all these amazing experiences with both of my children but life is what you make it. Treasured moments don't have to be the firsts. Mini is here now, and we're making memories. And now, they're his memories too. And isn't it more important that we share some amazing times, some proud moments and some massive achievements than me knowing the date his first tooth gave him grief?
I think so.
If you have a treasured memory that you'd like to share, then you'll be pleased to hear that soon, you'll be able to take part in a new blog link-up where you can do just that! The Adoption Social is a new site, launching on Friday 14th June. Each Monday we'll open a new linky called Memory Box where we hope you'll share achievements, memories, and great moments. Read more here...