Friday, 19 April 2013

Flat

So now you know what happened to us this week, with our meetings and appointments.

I'm feeling really flat now, and wondering where to go with school. I need to find some fight from somewhere because I have a feeling that things aren't going to get any easier are they?

I need school to support Mini, and me. These are people that have responsibility for my son for 6 hours every day. That's a long time for a child to be surrounded by people who have little understanding of him, and little empathy towards him. And for Mini to spend 3 years in an environment that is target based, reward chart obsessed, academically focused with little regard to emotions, feelings, and pastoral care is worrying me.

So, why is it that I feel like the one in the wrong? Why do I feel like I shouldn't have complained? I think perhaps there was a small black dog hiding behind the chair of the head teacher. I fear that at some point during that school meeting, the black dog's lead may have attached itself to my wrist.

Frustration and anger are surrounding me...are they enough to help me fight the school?
Progress at theraplay and things to look forward to are positive...will they be enough to help me shake off that dog's lead?

10 comments:

  1. There are two battles here, both of which require armour. Fight the school, and fight for Mini. The choice - for me - was deciding whether both these battles were the same war. For us it ended up that they were not, and we found a new school against EVERYONE's wills. She moved, and she instantly thrived. They are not great, but they are awesome in comparison.
    Once the fight with the school took over, I knew it was time to back out and leave. My crusade is for CHT, not the school. Only you can know. But there is no harm in checking things out. Thoughts are with you Mx

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    1. Thanks Mumdrah. We are considering changing schools. I'm just very wary of moving him at this point, when he only has a year of infants, then he'll move again into juniors. I want to minimise those moves if I can.
      I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place, and there is something a bit dark around me at the moment that's clouding my judgement too. Need to pull myself together x

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  2. You can be stronger and more positive than they are with their barriers and negativity. There are lots of us who are with you x

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  3. You've had a tough day of it and their ignorance and negativity has obviously worn you down. Find some space away from it all over the weekend and hopefully strength will be regained and your thoughts clearer. It makes me so cross that such ignorance is admissible in the education system. With you all the way my love. xx

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    1. Thank you. Desperately need to chill out a bit and clear my head. xx

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  4. I think you were right to complain, and the black dog you refer to is because you are human, not because you are wrong. I would tend to agree with Mumdrah here, though I dont have the same experience. You need to do what is right for the child first.

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    1. Thank you. The black dog comes every now and then...the positivity helps keep him at a safe difference, but the negative times allow him to creep closer again.
      But what is right for Mini? That one is still under consideration... xx

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  5. It's difficult. Nothing ever changes if you don't complain. The trouble is you are the at the mercy of how someone else will react. They may go away and think about it and come up with a better plan once the defensiveness has calmed down a bit. I've got several friends with adopted children who have experienced similar issues. Two have changed schools with successful outcomes. One found that once her son went up a school year the next teacher was more supportive. Tears can also have a dramatic impact on staff if all else fails.

    In the meantime honey, breathe. Just breathe and nourish yourself a little bit too. Then when you are feeling back to normal.......take it to the mattresses!

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    1. Thanks Gem. You're right, after initial defensiveness, they have made some of the changes on the IEP I asked for.
      I think my trouble here is with the Headteacher, I'd love to say that moving into Year 2 will make this better, but we'll still be stuck with the same Head, and without her support will we really be any better off? I will however remember the tears - might come in useful. They are very close most of the time so I could easily turn them on if needed!

      xx

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