Wednesday, 13 February 2013

Cards or cake

Mini: So what's this Valentine's stuff all about then mummy?

Stix: Well, it's a day where we show people that we love them. Sometimes people send cards, and sometimes they do it in secret, and you have to guess who sent it.

Mini: Can we make some cards mummy?

Stix: Of course, how many girls are you going to send cards to?

Mini: No mummy, I want to send one to Robert.

Stix: OK, that's really sweet, but I think Robert might be a bit embarrassed because he's a bit shy isn't he? What about Sophie or Jade instead?

Mini: No mummy, I really like Robert, he's my friend and I want to send him a card.

Stix: OK, we'll see if we have time to make a card.

Now I know at his age, it's innocent, and he just wants to send a card to his friend. But the trouble is I'm pretty sure a card to Robert won't go down particularly well, and I don't find his mother approachable so can't have a quiet word.
I *could* convince Mini to send it anonymously but I know he can't keep a secret and would probably tell Robert. Robert might be embarrassed, he might tell his other friends and I don't want Mini having the mickey taken out of him for doing something nice.

So what will we do?

Distraction.

Dollop and I have made cakes today and after school the children will ice and decorate them for their daddy. Hopefully Mini will forget about making cards. Does this make me a bad mummy?

12 comments:

  1. I think if it was me I'd encourage him to write it and include something like "to my best friend" and "happy Valentine's Day".
    If she has no sense of humour then you don't want to speak to her anyway, do you?

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    1. It's more about protecting him though...me not speaking to her just makes it harder to do that. Thankfully he forgot all about it.

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  2. I agree with DrSpouse, definitely doesn't have to say 'I love you' but could just say 'to my best friend, happy Valentines day'....maybe make the cakes too and he could take one in instead of a card for his friend perhaps?

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    1. He was happy to make the cakes...provided the distraction I'd hoped for, and when I suggested he take some cakes in for another friend he didn't want to share ;-)

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  3. This is where the Finnish & American 'friends day' is useful. Another annoying 'card' day, but they send cards to all their friends on Feb 14th, as well as taking in tacky tat for each of them - but it at least makes it innocent!

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    1. Yes, if everyone does it, there's no big deal is there?

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  4. I am going to say distract him. Of course it is all innocent and lovely through our adult eyes but children and their parents can be cruel.If a possible situation can be avoided then I would avoid it. I will be giving child a chocolate heart.

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    1. Hope child liked her heart Annie? The distraction worked, and yes it was about protecting Mini from further shame and embarrassment if Robert rejected it... x

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  5. It is sad that Valentine's Day here is so much focussed on just being the i fancy you love relationship - when i lived around lots of Americans they sent valentine cards to children, classmates,adult friends - anyone they appreciated and valued their friendship, so I have adopted the idea a little - why not nick some of the cultural celebrations we like, eh? So, today in our family we are celebrating Valentines day and giving out a few wee valentine gifts to some friends - besides I would be just miserable single, without doing it this way x

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    1. I think that's lovely. We've made a little more of it than usual at home - as well as the homemade cakes, we had special bought ones, valentines sweeties and a special meal. But the distraction of cake was enough to avoid the cards (and embarrassment that could have come from them). x

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  6. I like the idea of them sending friendship cards too each other and in lots of ways I agree with that thought. However I have been in a similar sort of situation where Tink wanted to write letters to a little girl around the corner but I knew for a fact that the little girls mum was not keen on him or me. He bit her once and she instantly unfriended me on Facebook. I really wasn't bothered but I did discourage him because I wanted to protect him from unnecessary unpleasantness from her. So if he's happily distracted go with it.

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    1. He was happily distracted in the end...phew!
      It would be lovely if all our kids could be friendly in innocent ways towards each other, but there will always be the odd child, or their parent who doesn't like it. And like you, I just want to protect Mini from such situations when I can foresee them x

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