Friday, 11 January 2013

The Positivity Pot

I'm not one for resolutions, and anyhow I'm a week and a half too late. But I've been thinking about how I can improve my life and become more positive. This blog is pretty negative, and that's because it's where I store all the crappy bits of our life. It means my head can cope with the other stuff that it needs in order for us to function - basic stuff like remembering how to cook, routines, and what day it is, along with the other stuff - important things about therapeutic parenting and what to do in certain situations with Mini. It also means I can look back and see how far we've come...

As a society I think we're pretty poor at shouting about our achievements, even the little ones. But I do sometimes celebrate our achievements here, see our recent great day out at Colchester Zoo and the time that Mini told me how he felt. However I know that the balance of positive vs negative isn't equal. I don't apologise for that, but I'm pretty sure that if I can try to be more positive about things, then Mini's attitude might change a little bit, and the things we're trying will have a better chance of working too. Plus I might feel a bit happier rather than being suspended in this place of anxiety, which feels not too far away from that rotten (and well-trodden) road to depression...I'm trying to avoid that road if I possibly can, it took a long time to get back from last time.

So... I'm not making a resolution, as I said it's too late for that, plus I don't want to set myself up to fail. There are many different ways of trying to be more positive, some of them gimmicky, some of them lovely and some of them are both, but I want one that the whole family can take part in and take some responsibility for. We have lots of things to be grateful for - some of them small; the whole 8 hours of sleep I got last night and Dollop sitting still while I plaited her hair, some of them big; overall good health and a roof over our heads, and some in the middle; the brilliant time we had on Mini's birthday, our ever improving bedtimes and this morning when Mini wanted something unobtainable and I dealt with his demands therapeutically.

I've chosen something slightly gimmicky, but there is no pressure to choose something every day, and we'll be able to easily see the good times mounting up - a Positivity Pot, which is basically a glass jar.

Yes, you read that right. A jar.

The idea is that we can scribble our good times down on pieces of crafted gorgeousness (that'd be me) or scraps of paper (the rest of the family) and pop them in the jar, we might add photos of great moments too. At the end of the year - or sooner if we need to - we can have a look through all the good times. The kids can help fill it up with the things they like - such as Mini had a great packed lunch, or Dollop was pleased to see Baby Whizz.
And if it doesn't work out, well we haven't lost a lot have we? If it does, we might even turn it into a scrap book at the end of the year. *Notes down the activity for next Christmas hols*

How do you keep positive? Any good ways of recording the good times or do you rely on your memories?

16 comments:

  1. This one could have been written by me! I really need to be more positive with ds2, he is the one with the most problems and the one I am more negative with. I too this year will try and be more positive with him! (and the other 3!)

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    1. Thanks for your comment. Sometimes it's hard to focus on the positive when there are so many challenging times. Good on you for giving it a go :-)

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    2. I think I'll give that a go! I tend to forget the positives and when you sit down and try to remember, you can find it hard. Thanks for the tip!

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    3. I think I'll give this a go. Off to find a jar now....... thanks!

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    4. Thanks for stopping by Ann. Hope you find it works for you x

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  2. And how about ranking the positives at the end of the week/month with perhaps a reward if there are x number of positives? You could set an 'aim' e.g. a special trip to the seaside, or a picnic in the park, or a home cinema day with films and popcorn and closed curtains (for effect!)etc.

    By ranking the positives, you can them also aim to 'recreate' them again at a later date if the impact is such that it is agreed 'it was the best' - this aim can then be put on a calendar for a set date in the future to look forward to.

    Sounds a fab idea!!

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    1. That might be a step too far for this year, but perhaps something if this idea works OK. The trouble with setting a reward is that if we fail, we go back to something negative, and it's bound to cause arguments over what the reward is.

      At the moment I want to keep it light for all of us...no pressure, just a celebration of the things we've managed well as individuals and as a family. xx

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  3. Another brilliant post Vikki, based on your ability to be so (often painfully) honest and to connect with what so many of us go through but don't perhaps talk about enough. You've touched on things that probably so many of us are going through at this time of year - personally I've had a massive slump recently and have been struggling to avoid the black dog (can't believe I've actually admitted that) - positivity pot sounds really lovely, tangible and most importantly, shareable. Good luck with yours xxx

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    1. I think you're right about this time of year, even without Mini's challenges, I could easily be on that horrible road.
      I really hope you find a way out of your slump that fits you and your family, and if you try a positivity pot, then let me know how you get on...might steer you away from that black dog xx

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  4. This is a brilliant idea. I love it and may have to copy. You are right, we can often focus on how tough parenting our children is when actually there is so much to be grateful for. The jar is a lovely way to focus on the good bits. xx

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    1. Copy away :-) Let me know how you get on (if you do it).

      I'm really looking forward to putting in the little things that I know Mini struggles with but are such big achievements for him, and then celebrating those with him. xx

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  5. Aw, this is lovely. A fab idea which I've always liked the sound of but never yet tried. Hope it's going well.

    I found your blog on the Mummy's Little Monkey blog list. Nice to meet you.

    I have a blog too (coolruleantics.blogspot.com) and I've created a special scrapbook for kids aged 2 - 6 yrs called The Cool Rule Book. It is a book where you stick in photos of your child and their world, their friends, their families, their toys etc to represent the rules you're trying to teach them around that age. Have a look and see what you think (thecoolrulecompany.co.uk). Loads of mums like it because it keeps them positive with their approach to discipline and gives you a gorgeous memory book for future years. Something that sometimes gets lost in the toddler years!

    Anyway, good luck with the jar!
    xxx

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  6. What a lovely idea Vicki!! It sounds like a great way of capturing positive memories. I am a glass is half full kinda gal so we celebrate lots of achievements here but I like the idea of having a jar to capture them in. We might join in as well!!

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    1. Let me know how you get on with it Gem. We tend to celebrate the big things, but I often find it's the little things that we take for granted...however they're often the ones that make the biggest differences to our lives. I'm really looking forward to this now and it's lovely to see so many positive comments about it too :-)

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  7. I saw this idea on Pinterest a while back.I too find it hard to be positive as I'm still trying to find a job after a year of loosing my working from home job.It's the little things that count and if you can keep a record of them and look back at a later date it can make you realise how lucky you are.

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