Friday, 30 November 2012

The calm before the storm...

At the start of the week Mini had a good few days, and we've now had another week of dry nights (woo hoo!) which I hope means that my chat at school reminded his teachers of the work they can do there to help reassure Mini, and they're doing it!

However, as a mum of a traumatised child, I can't just enjoy these calm days. Oh how I wish I could.

The thing is, our family life is so full of thunder and lightning, that these quiet, un-shouty, non-aggressive days just feel like the calm before another round of storms hit. And it's impossible to relax and enjoy it because we just don't know when that next storm will arrive.

I feel like I'm just as hyper vigilant as Mini sometimes, and it makes me feel sad to be so negative all the time. It makes my head hurt, and I rarely feel relaxed in Mini's company even during these good periods.

And now we're about to hit a really busy period, with plans every weekend day between now and Christmas. And we're starting therapy. And there's stuff on at school. And we're going away.
I'm not worried so much about the Christmas element - we've got our way of dealing with that now, it's the excitement of all our plans (seeing friends, seeing family, seeing Santa, going to stay at Nanny's and Grandad's, and 3 birthday parties) that will set Mini off - because we're so busy, there will be little time for him to process the anxieties and feelings that he'll experience. We will have to make time, and have some reflection time (if he can manage it) before bed each night.

And to help with the anxieties, we'll try to do this before every event:
It's great being together isn't it? And doing nice things together?
We're doing x, y and z today. We're all going together. Mummy and Daddy will be there all the time. It will be busy, and there might be some people you don't know. But we'll all still be there together.
Then we're doing a, b and c. We'll still be together. Mummy and Daddy will still be there too.
Then when we've finished, we're all coming home together, in our car, back to our house, altogether. Where we can have hot chocolate and marshmallows, like we always do....altogether.

Guess where the emphasis is?! Gotta give it a try. It might even keep that next storm at bay just a little bit longer.


  1. Oh how I know this too well, my last few weeks is testament to this. Hope you can keep it at bay and things will keep calm for you. You're doing such an amazing job you deserve those extended moments.

    1. Thanks Sarah. Do you ever relax and enjoy the good moments? x