I want to write to you now because I want you to know that you ARE loved, and you ARE part of our family.
Me and daddy wanted to have our own family for such a long time, and it was hard for us to do that, which is why we chose to adopt you. You were the first baby that we were told about and you sounded so wonderful, happy and perfect that we knew we wanted to be the best mummy and daddy we possibly could for you.
When we met you it was a very strange day. I was feeling a bit mixed up inside because we met you on the anniversary of my dad’s death – he would have been your grandad, and I was sad and remembering him, whilst being all happy and excited to be meeting you. I remember thinking that it would have been wonderful if he could have met you too.
I still remember that day very clearly, you were eating your lunch when we arrived, so we let you finish and then your social worker came and put you on my lap for a cuddle. You looked up at me with your big blue eyes and I fell in love with you instantly. I couldn’t believe how lucky I was to have such a beautiful boy.
Life hasn’t been easy for any of us. Daddy was a bit poorly when you moved in, and you liked to spend lots of time with him. It was hard for you to move when you were so little, and you must have missed your foster carer. But we all coped and were a happy little family, and then when I fell pregnant you seemed very excited at becoming a big brother.
You came to one or two of the scans with us so you could see the baby inside my tummy, and you used to sing to Dollop through my belly button.
It must have been quite hard for you when Dollop was born because things changed quite a lot didn’t they? Mummy wasn’t allowed to drive, or do much at all to start with, so Nanna used to take you to nursery for me. You were very helpful at home, fetching nappies for me when I had to change Dollop, and helping us bathe her. Dollop looks up to you and loves you so much, and we know you love her too.
Then you started school, and had to make new friends, and learn new ways.
Me and Daddy are so proud of you for all that you’ve learnt and done in the 4 years you’ve been here. You’ve learnt to walk, talk, feed yourself, use a potty, read, write, jump, share, sing, count, play and so much more. You can be polite, kind, sensitive, helpful and caring. We know that you worry about things, and we know that sometimes there are things in your head that you can’t talk about, things that you might not even realise are there. We know sometimes that you shout and get angry and upset. But we know, for the most part, you can’t help it. We are here to support you and help you however we can, and we’re trying really hard to learn about how we can do that better.
We love you, every single bit of you, and we always will Mini. I hope you don’t ever forget that…we will carry on telling you every single day to make sure you don’t.
Love you son,