Tuesday, 25 September 2012

Here we go again

Oh dear.
Just a few weeks in, and despite lots of liaising with school, a timetable of which teacher/teaching assistant/dinner lady and much reassurance from me, the NC and school, Mini is back to wetting the bed every day again.

Bright side - wetting is only at home, and only in bed at the moment. It's not deep sleep wetting, in fact he's got up a couple of times in the middle of the night to go to the loo. But it's early morning wetting, right before he gets up. I'm not sure whether it's laziness (our toilet is downstairs so it's an effort in the morning when you're all snug in bed), anxiety about school (more likely as it didn't happen in the holidays) or something else. But, Mini can't tell me why. He can't tell me if he does it upon waking, or whether it's just before hand. And he just doesn't seem bothered - but he does have a full-on meltdown when I suggest a shower in the morning to keep him clean, healthy and smelling nice!

I know it must be awful for him, although as I say, he doesn't seem remotely bothered. I've told him that most other 5 year olds don't wet the bed anymore, but I don't want to make him feel more shame, so I don't bang on about it.

But it's getting ME down. A lot. My poor old washing machine is back to it's incredibly busy self, and my house is constantly covered in drying duvets and bedding. We have no central heating so getting the duvet dry can often take two days (a spare has been ordered). And my house, especially upstairs, smells.

I'm struggling with the length of time everything is taking...and we're not getting anywhere yet. None of the professionals that we're engaging with have even met Mini (bar my parent supporter, and the social worker who recorded us). This wetting gets me down more than the rages, meltdowns and violence, because even when Mini's not here I'm still reminded of his anxieties, and still picking up the pieces...

8 comments:

  1. Will he wear the 'big boy pants' for bedwetters? Not the pull up type, but the sort that look like pants and are I guess heavy towelling. Won't stop him, but might be less mess for you!

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    1. Good idea Buster, but he won't go for them - we've tried before. We're just going to have to keep Persil in business!

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  2. Hiya!! Sad to hear that you are dealing with bedwetting again. It is incredibly common though even in children without Mini's difficulties. Would it be worth trying the Wet Stop 3 alarm system we used with Katie? It was brilliant and really resolved the issue. Link is here: http://www.amazon.co.uk/W103-Wet-Stop3-Bedwetting-Alarm-Green/dp/B0013LRVWA/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1348658750&sr=8-1 It might be cheaper than all that washing and duvets. I also used puppy training pads under Katie's sheets to absorb the urine so you don't have all those smells to contend with. Good luck and hang in there hon xx

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    1. Thanks Gem, we had considered an alarm, but we're pretty sure that using one will just draw attention to the problem, making Mini feel shame about what he's done - he's already probably feeling enough of that, so we don't want to add to it.
      We are using waterproof mattress protectors, but puppy training pads might be useful to keep on standby too - great idea.

      This was just a bit of a ranty post for me, as I sat (and sit) with drying sheets and duvet covers around me! However, last night he was dry :-)

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  3. Yay!! Glad last night was a dry night. I honestly don't think the monitor brings a sense of shame with it but I appreciate that you understand Mini very well. Katie found it great fun (and loved setting it off by wetting her fingers). It was a game with a great outcome. xx

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    1. I wonder if in different circumstances the monitor works differently? I'm pretty sure that when Mini was night-training it would have been a source of amusement and a good game to set it off. Dollop appears to be almost ready to night-time train too, and I think she'd love it. In fact, it might be worth bearing in mind if we have any struggles with her.

      But I think now, for Mini, drawing attention to his anxieties (which is what the wetting is a display of) couldn't fail to bring shame. It's so hard knowing how to help him deal with it, but I think ultimately the only way will be to deal with the cause of the anxiety, and it seems that finding out what that is might be some way off.

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  4. It's plastic sheets in our house too, and I daren't tell you how old the bedwetter is (for fear of sending you into ever spiralling depression). We are about to get an alarm and should have done it years ago, so thanks Gem for the link.
    It does get a real drag, especially in the winter. I think anxiety has a lot to do with it for us and also dissassociation (mind divorcing itself from body as survival mechanism). Sometimes it feels like everything in our house carries a vague whiff of wee. Nice!
    Good luck.

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  5. Thinking of you, Vicki. Sending hugs to you and Mini xxx

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