Mini seems to becoming quite angry at the moment. He is shouting more and more.
On a positive note, he is beginning to tell us when he’s becoming angry, which is good because he’s recognising a feeling, and can name it. The downside is that these ‘I’m getting really angry with you’ exclamations are always followed with a threat of violence if we don’t do what he wants.
I know Mini is struggling with the imminent end of term. He’s tired, he needs some rest time. And he’s anxious and worried.
But I’m getting really frustrated and honestly – upset, with the constant shouting. And I’m starting to get snappy with him. A typical conversation at the moment is:
Me: Mini please stop trying to make Dollop fall over/break that/bang her head/hurt you/get in trouble by swiping her legs/pushing her/grabbing her hands/pulling her hair/telling her what to do with the hobby horse/edge of the table/fish tank/toy soldiers/felt tip pens.
Mini: NO! I like doing it, and she wants me to.
Me: No Mini, she doesn’t, it’s dangerous and I’ll have to take the <insert toy here> away if you can’t be safe with it.
Mini: NO YOU WON’T!
Me: Yes Mini, it is dangerous like that.
Mini: NO YOU WILL NOT TAKE IT AWAY FROM ME!
Me: Try me… *Takes toy away*
Result: Massive meltdown from Mini, and I get wound up.
Mini: Can I have 5 more really chocolatey biscuits now (5 minutes before dinner)
Me: No Mini, dinner is nearly ready, perhaps you can have one or two chocolatey biscuits for pudding.
Mini: NO I WANT THEM NOW I DO NOT WANT DINNER I WANT BISCUITS AND YOU WILL GET THEM FOR ME BECAUSE I WANT THEM AAAAARRRRGHHGHGHGHGH
Me: I know you really want the biscuits Mini, but dinner comes first.
Mini: YOU'RE MAKING ME REALLY ANGRY BECAUSE YOU ARE A BAD MUMMY AND I WANT THE BISCUITS....I'M TELLING DADDY AND I'M PHONING THE POLICE. DOLLOP THINKS YOU ARE A BAD MUMMY TOO.
Me: Yes, I know I'm a horrible mummy, but that is the rules my love!
I’m trying to be therapeutic I really am, but Mini is really pushing my buttons at the moment, and like him, I’m also tired and need a rest over the summer holidays.
After episodes like this I try to empathise with him, and accept that he’s feeling cross and hard done by. I try to ‘wonder’ why he was doing what he was doing, and what he means by his actions.
But do you know what, I’m only human and I get it wrong…often. I will persevere but sometimes I need to just own up and say ‘I’m not feeling very therapeutic today, I’ll try my best, but hopefully tomorrow will be better’. Is that allowed?