Mini is 5. He was daytime potty-trained by 2 and a half years old, although night time dryness came around a year or so later.
Over the last 5/6 months, Mini has begun wetting again, and we thought it was without trigger. A lot of the time we couldn’t see why, but a pattern of wetting on the way home from school developed. Because he’d expressed concerns to me about moving on, Glenda-the-CAMHS-therapist felt that he was scared of coming home because he didn’t know what might be waiting for him – his bags packed, a new family….
As suddenly as it started, it stopped again. We thought all was fine, and put it down (big-headedly) to us offering lots more reassurances to Mini that we love him, and that he’s not going anyway.
However, over the last couple of weeks we’ve noticed - as we’ve begun to attune more to Mini perhaps? – that the wetting occurs when Mini is upset or anxious. And not just over moving on to another family, in many ways that fear seems to have receded a little, but over many things.
Last week was a prime example – he wet the bed 3 or so times, and wet himself on the way home from school every day (except Friday). We also had one accident at school. It took us til the end of the week to realise what was worrying him – the school assembly. This was Mini’s third (and final) special assembly in which his reception class presents what they’ve been learning to parents and carers. Mini has not been worried about the previous 2 assemblies, if he was worried, he didn’t show it (that we can recall). He didn’t have a big part like some of the other children; he was very much part of the chorus as it were. So we don’t know what his concerns were, but he’s only wet the bed once since then, despite going away for a weekend immediately after the assembly. He was in a strange bed, in a strange environment with the excitement of nanny and grandad there too!
But oddly, he copes well at other stressful times, or at least copes differently. And things that have stressed him before are manageable for him the next time. Equally things that he’s not found remotely difficult in the past suddenly become the hardest task in the world….
But now that we’ve finally sussed this particular sign of anxiety (yes, we’re clearly slow on the uptake), we will use this new found knowledge to keep an eye on Mini during these wetter spells. Of course, he’s still only 5, and it’s not unusual for 5 year olds to have occasional accidents. Indeed, there are only a handful of children in his class who haven’t had an accident in school. But hopefully we’ll be able to tell the difference between an odd accident and a stressful time, and if we can spot a stressful time in the making we can try to make it easier and more fun for Mini.
The forecast says it'll all be fine.