Tuesday, 22 May 2012

Because I wasn't there today...

Oh my word. What. A. Day.

I’ve been stuck in a room with 20 odd other people in an old manor house, with little fresh air circulating on one of the hottest days of the year so far. The trainer was excitable, enthusiastic, a true believer in the techniques he was sharing. As such, it was a fast paced day (as was the first half of the course last week), with lots to take in, and several techniques to practise and take part in (yes, I have been playing with balloons and flyswatters, and I’ve been given a weather massage, and I’ve been ignored on purpose in a listening exercise). Today was the second and final part of an introduction to Theraplay®.

Like last week, I came out of the training room feeling excited that this will be something to help our whole family reconnect and move forward. But thoroughly shattered because of all the information I’ve (hopefully) absorbed, and all the questions in my head about how what I’ve learnt actually relates to the situations we often find ourselves in with Mini.

I’m also feeling a bit frustrated as we now know it’s going to be at least another 2-3months before we can get the videoed assessment which happens prior to Theraplay starting, and then another month or so after that before the Theraplay actually starts. I know it doesn’t sound all that long, but the Theraplay or at least play therapy has been talked about since my first session with CAMHS, back in February I think. It’s within sight now though which is the main thing.

So with my head buzzing, feeling hot and slightly pretty bothered, I return home to find that everyone’s out enjoying the sun in the garden – but no hats, no suncream. The children are running around the garden picking up grass stains in the shoes I’ve just washed to relieve them of the fresh-cut grass stains they picked up on Sunday. Despite it being almost 5pm (the kids eat between 5-5.30pm usually), the NC hadn’t started dinner. (Yeah, I know, nothing major but enough to piss me off!)
Not only that, Mini is feeling pretty angry at mummy and daddy. Probably because mummy came home in a bit of a bad mood, and Mini’s not used to that. And because his whole routine was knocked out; Daddy did the school runs, Daddy administered snacks, both children got to play outside, which they haven’t been able to much because the weather’s been horrible and the grass too long (note to the NC: keep the grass cut please so we can play out more!).  Mini was probably thinking that I’d been pretty rejecting and abandoning towards him because I wasn’t where I usually am.

Here’s how I know Mini was angry:
He brushed past me, not acknowledging my presence at all until he’d washed his hands.
He demanded food as soon as he saw me, then got cross because I told him dinner (hot dogs) would be ready really soon, so he could eat then.
He demanded different food, until he realised that hot dogs actually meant sausages – his favourite.
He sat on the dinner table, and then screamed when I asked him to sit on his chair instead. I explained that if his bottom was on the table, there was nowhere to put his plate – he moved.
He dropped his hot dog on his plate in anger, then cried and wailed when the hot dog bun split.
He then refused to eat it until he was given another hot dog bun. Although unfortunately they’d all been served, so he begrudgingly smushed it all back together again, glued by copious amounts of ketchup.
He kept arguing with Dollop. At one point he accused Dollop of giving him a headache – in his foot(!)
He then reached for his nearby pencil box and having successfully grabbed a pencil,stabbed angrily at the table and then drew on it too.
Having already decided before dinner that he was having a cupcake for pudding, and chosen which one, he refused to eat his cupcake for pudding, instead requesting every other sweet food that he could think of.  He never did have any pudding.
He continually told me how angry and cross he was with me (yes, result…verbalising emotion!)
He then collapsed on me on the sofa, and I managed to draw a few patterns on his tummy. He calmed down quite quickly, and then fairly calmly and happily went off for a bath with Dollop!

Despite being calmer, it still felt that Mini could turn at any minute. We tried to do a bit of blanket swinging, but Mini (as with lots of nice things) kept trying to sabotage it for both him and Dollop. Eventually, after a big cuddle, and an 'I'm not going to sleep ever again if you don't swing me in the blanket RIGHT NOW', we agreed to swing him, and he is settling down right now. At least, I can pretend that's what's happening if I ignore the odd screams floating down the stairs!


  1. Sounds oh so familiar, Stix. Big hugs to you. I've taken some time out so have some catching up to do on reading posts. x

    1. Thanks my love...wondered where you'd been. Catch up properly soon x

  2. Yes - very familiar... when LE is in 'one of those' moods, despite my best efforts I walk on egg shells, knowing she can turn at any minute... you kept really calm though and the drawing patterns is a great tip I'll definitely use (hopefully not today though..... it WILL be a calm day!!!!!) xx

  3. What a day of mixed emotions by the sounds of it. It must have been difficult coming home to a war-zone. Katie is often pretty annoyed with me if I go out without her (how dare I?). I still don't tell her when I'm going out in the evenings as it's not worth the hassle. Alot of the behaviour you described above we get on a bad day. Katie does a lot of this with Daddy fairly often as she is often annoyed with him for going to work every day.

    I hope you get the Theraplay started soon and feel that you are making some progress xx