Well it's not been the easiest couple of days. Mini has had several meltdowns, and has been very tired recently which has contributed to those meltdowns. The NC has been ill, and hasn't had masses of patience as a result. So he's not been as....easygoing as normal. Both the NC and Mini have clashed somewhat these last few days.
Mini has not wet himself day or night (except one episode), or soiled himself at all for a couple of weeks now and we're so so proud of him. There's been no smeared or hidden poo. Even his aim has improved and the grout between the floor tiles has dried out!
He's proud of himself, and is clearly feeling a great sense of achievement, and has commented about how nice it is to be back to normal again. He's even finished the reward charts for dryness too, and can't wait for me to set up a new reward chart for something else...yet to be decided.
I know reward charts don't work for everyone, but for Mini they do...take these 'dry in the day' ones...we don't insist he's dry 7 days in a row, or mon-fri, but rather when he's got 5 stickers, he gets a dip in the 'grab bag' of treats. Once he's managed 5 successful episodes, we up it to 7 so it's a bit longer before he gets the grab bag, and so on. We usually do it for 4 or 5 treats, and then he knows that by the end of the chart we expect him to be able to stay dry without having treats. We don't make a song or dance if he's not achieved a sticker that day, just try to encourage him the next day. Usually by the 3rd treat he's getting stickers nearly every day rather than 1/2 a week. There is no timelimit, we use these charts til he's met each goal.
We've rewarded dryness, finishing drinks at mealtimes (he was dehydrated for sometime after just not drinking much), remembering to wee before bed, remembering to brush his teeth. I need to spend some time choosing the next chart aim...it needs to be achievable enough so that Mini won't get frustrated, and something that he should be able to do without necessarily be reminded by the end of it all. The old health visitor woman who advised following Webster Stratton would call this 'positive behaviour modification', I call this rewarding the good behaviour, whilst trying to ignore some of the bad!
Mini's grab bag is a lucky dip...he has no idea what's in there. It contains mini lego packs, small packs of sweets, written promises (such as a park trip, buying a postcard to send to nanny, a visit to the bakers to choose a cake), rubbers, sheets of stickers, even those mini boxes of Coco Pops (makes a change from his normal Shreddies or Cheerios!). In the past, it's had a yoyo, a whoopee cushion, books, crayons...all sorts.
I'm even thinking of asking the NC to make me one - with mini bottles of wine, bars of galaxy, vouchers for facials, nail varnishes, Radley bags!!! Perhaps I should get a sticker for each day I've remained calm, safe, cuddly mummy, not shouty, wound-up, cross mummy?
Any more suggestions for a grown up reward chart?
I've added a resources page to the site now which has got more detail about how we use the reward charts, and other things we use to reward the good, and acknowledge the bad. I've even included photographs of my own handiwork (no sniggering please!).