Sunday, 11 March 2012

One call equals many cupcakes!

So, after a month or so of waiting for the three referrals she’d promised (community paediatrician, parent support worker and family support worker), I finally receive a phone call last week from the school nurse.

So here are her words, and my thoughts!

She tells me on the phone that ‘you’ve been in my thoughts’, ‘but I’ve been so terribly busy’, and ‘we’ve had so much sickness in the office that we’ve just not been able to deal with everything as effectively as we like to’ – so what have you not got done??

‘Unfortunately, the criteria for referring to Community Paed have changed, and we can’t now refer without the support of the school…I understand this might be difficult for you’ – yes it’s damn well difficult, and you damn well know, as Mini is a model blinking pupil!

I tell her that we’ve been lucky that the GP’s referral to CAMHS has come through and I’ve had 2 meetings and 1 phone-meeting with a primary mental health worker, who in that time has tentatively diagnosed, offered support and ways of handling Mini, showed concern and promised some therapy for him.

‘Oh well, I’m so pleased you’ve got some support there. Is there anything else I can help with? You mentioned problems with wetting?’ – yes, you promised to set up a session with a specialist for me, and other parents who were concerned about the same issue which you’ve clearly not done, however, this issue has resolved itself and Mini is now dry again – day and night, no thanks to you!

‘So you’re all set now then?’ – well actually, I’d still like if possible to see someone in parent support. I think this might be helpful for me and my husband.

  • ‘Oh, well can CAMHS arrange that then? I’ll still need headteacher to sign for you to get a referral to parent support through us’ – What?? You never mentioned this a month ago, what exactly have you been doing for the last 4 weeks during which time I’ve been clinging onto the fact that you promised me some HELP and SUPPORT!

So upshot is that school won’t help, so school nurse can’t help. I come off the phone slightly shell-shocked and dazed, thankful that we are getting support from somewhere else, because I am deeply disappointed that so many promises have been completely broken so early into our journey. I cannot help but think that I’m gonna have to get used to this…

I’ll add that it was this phonecall that prompted my epiphany and subsequent blog post – their views against ours! It also prompted baking fury and lots of cupcakes for the NC, Mini and Dollop so there was an upside!


  1. That is a real pity - it has probably taken her 4 weeks to pluck up the courage to admit she can't do anything to help!

  2. I expect you're right, but I feel rather let down by all the referrals she told me she'd make by the end of the week I saw her, to find she's not followed through on a single one. I could have been exploring other avenues in that time...
    So disappointing, however, I feel stronger and ready to push for what Mini needs now, so it's not all bad.

  3. That's really naff!!! You're right to look on the positive. These are the sort of things that make you more determined to drive forward. Keep pushing, Stix. x

  4. Have you found they are a national charity who deal with eneuris and soiling issues. Brilliant website and lots of downloadable literature. We use their literature alot in my work. Sadly School nursing services are massively under staffed and funded and your average school nurse will be looking after several different schools. i work with HV's and find tha

  5. sorry my comment got sent before I could finish it. And i can't remember where I had got to! but the gist of it is that often School nurses hands are tied due to the cuts happening all over the NHS. good luck with finding support.

  6. Thanks Mrs V-C - yes I have dealt with Eric in the past when Mini had a slightly different issue, they have a great email advice service, and I whole-heartedly recommend them.

    However, as I mention in the blog post, the wetting issue has now been resolved, with over 2 weeks of dryness :-) We think rather than being a physical issue (which I think is where Eric is most helpful) it was related to Mini's attachment issue, and was an emotional issue. This has (for the moment) been resolved with lots of cuddles and reassuring words from me and the NC.

    It's such a shame that the school nurses are stretched, after my initial meeting I felt so positive, and she was such a lovely lady. However, all those promises of referrals she made have come to nothing, and whilst we've been lucky enough to find another route through, others might not...