So, after a month or so of waiting for the three referrals she’d promised (community paediatrician, parent support worker and family support worker), I finally receive a phone call last week from the school nurse.
So here are her words, and my thoughts!
She tells me on the phone that ‘you’ve been in my thoughts’, ‘but I’ve been so terribly busy’, and ‘we’ve had so much sickness in the office that we’ve just not been able to deal with everything as effectively as we like to’ – so what have you not got done??
‘Unfortunately, the criteria for referring to Community Paed have changed, and we can’t now refer without the support of the school…I understand this might be difficult for you’ – yes it’s damn well difficult, and you damn well know, as Mini is a model blinking pupil!
I tell her that we’ve been lucky that the GP’s referral to CAMHS has come through and I’ve had 2 meetings and 1 phone-meeting with a primary mental health worker, who in that time has tentatively diagnosed, offered support and ways of handling Mini, showed concern and promised some therapy for him.
‘Oh well, I’m so pleased you’ve got some support there. Is there anything else I can help with? You mentioned problems with wetting?’ – yes, you promised to set up a session with a specialist for me, and other parents who were concerned about the same issue which you’ve clearly not done, however, this issue has resolved itself and Mini is now dry again – day and night, no thanks to you!
‘So you’re all set now then?’ – well actually, I’d still like if possible to see someone in parent support. I think this might be helpful for me and my husband.
- ‘Oh, well can CAMHS arrange that then? I’ll still need headteacher to sign for you to get a referral to parent support through us’ – What?? You never mentioned this a month ago, what exactly have you been doing for the last 4 weeks during which time I’ve been clinging onto the fact that you promised me some HELP and SUPPORT!
So upshot is that school won’t help, so school nurse can’t help. I come off the phone slightly shell-shocked and dazed, thankful that we are getting support from somewhere else, because I am deeply disappointed that so many promises have been completely broken so early into our journey. I cannot help but think that I’m gonna have to get used to this…
I’ll add that it was this phonecall that prompted my epiphany and subsequent blog post – their views against ours! It also prompted baking fury and lots of cupcakes for the NC, Mini and Dollop so there was an upside!